Sibling changes the lock to their house after parents give a key to 34-year-old unemployed brother, refusing to let him stay: ‘Then I gave him our parents' key'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 17, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Parents are supposed to be the people you can always trust, no matter what. In a perfect world, you should be able to tell your parents everything, disclose all of your secrets, and always feel supported and safe. 

You should also be able to trust your parents with your belongings. Think about it, these are the people who are going to be the grandparents to your children, of course, you can trust them with what is most valuable to you, who else can fit that role?

However, since we obviously do not live in a perfect world, there are also many parents out there who cannot be trusted. Not with babies, not with secrets, and not with valuable possessions. Just like the parents in the story below. 

Their own child could not trust them with a spare key to their place, so much so that they decided to change the locks without them knowing. Luckily, they did so just in time, because it wasn't long before the parents gave that key to their other child, a 34-year-old unemployed man with nowhere to live, and a whole family dispute erupted.

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  • 01
    Man Knocking on Door
    via Africa images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH for giving my brother access to our parents' house even though they banned him. I have what I think is a good reason.

    My parents had an emergency key to my house. I changed the locks after they used it to check in on me without calling first.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 03
    I di ot bother telling them about the change. I have a key to their home so I can take care of it when they are away on vacation.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 04
    I literally just grab their mail and water their plants. They have their lights on a timer so I don't even need to make it look like people are home.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 05
    .y brother Daniel is, unfortunately, lost. He dropped out of college and works only long enough to earn money to travel.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 06
    As soon as he has money for a trip he will bail and leave for months.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 07
    Nothing wrong with that. Except for one slight problem. He sometimes chooses to not work for the
    via feelingguilty87
  • 08
    He borrowed money from our grandparents for car repairs. Then he moved to Peru for six months.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 09
    He took some books from our uncle and sold them for several thousand dollars since "he already read them and they were just gathering dust".
    via feelingguilty87
  • 10
    Our parents never held him accountable until he took stuff from them. Even then all they did was ban him from visiting when they aren't there to supervise him.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 11
    He is 34 not some teenager. He should know not to steal. Anyways Daniel has been in town for the greater part of a year now and it is just about time for him to blow town.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 12
    He gave up his roommate situation without having a place to stay because his flight leaves in the middle of the month.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 13
    He could spend money on a cheap Airbnb but he has been couch surfing. He asked to stay with me and I said no.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 14
    Our folks called me to ask me to change my mind. I said NO. Next thing I know Danny is at my house trying to use a key to get in.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 15
    My parents gave him the key. I talked to him through the door and he admits he asked them for help and they decided I was being an ass for not helping him out.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 16
    So they gave him my key. I don't trust him so I called to verify that is what happened.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 17
    They admitted that they thought since am barely ever home I wouldn't mind even though I was very clear on not wanting him in my space.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 18
    Here is where I might be the asshole. I opened the door enough to give him our parents' key.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 19
    Changing a door's lock
    via AndreyPopov

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    I said he could not stay with me but since they were being helpful I figured they wouldn't mind.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 21
    They were out to dinner when he went to their house. When they got home he had already made himself at home in the guest room.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 22
    To the best of my knowledge he hasn't helped himself to anything there. But they are pissed at me and are telling all our family what I did.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 23
    I have countered by telling everyone that they tried to do it to me first. Their logic is that I live out of a backpack since I travel for work and don't really have anything valuable in my house that he could steal.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 24
    That's not the point. I can imagine Danny "renting" out my house while I'm gone and I get back to a family if six with a fake lease.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 25
    It's his style. So my parents are pissed at me but I don't think I'm in the wrong.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 26
    PS my folks are retired but now they cannot leve the house together because one of them always has to be home to keep an eye on him.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 27
    He will fly out on the 17th and has only been there for a couple of days but it will definitely cramp their style for a bit.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 28
    Broad Respond_2205 The only thing lost about him is that he steals. NTA, they literally set the stage.
    via Broad_Respond_2205
  • 29
    OP feelingguilty87 I'm wondering what happens when he gets old with no savings or plans.
    via feelingguilty87
  • 30
    Hilseph Huge NTA but I'd be changing my locks so damn fast if I were you
    via Hilseph
  • 31
    OP feelingguilty87 Already done
    via feelingguilty87
  • 32
    RandChick YTA as well they are. Why would you do something you don't want done to you? That means you are guilty of the same crime: violating other people's space.
    via RandChick
  • 33
    OP feelingguilty87 I thought they would be cool with it since they set the rule by doing it first.
    via feelingguilty87

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Tags

keys family drama aita lock kids brother house mother siblings parenting family sister unemployed women parents children Father
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